Online relationships can be richly rewarding. They can also be dangerous. Be smart about your relationships online and you'll avoid the dangers and reap the rewards.
- These are people you are dealing with. Always remember that. They are not virtual entities. They are no less (and no more) real than the people in your everyday, offline life.
- Treat others online as you would wish to be treated.
- Recognise that others online will not necessarily treat you as well as you treat them.
- Not everyone on the Net will share your values or your sensitivities. Check out newsgroups and mailing lists before you join them. Some newsgroups permit flames (verbal abuse); some permit "rugged, direct interchanges" that don't cross over into flaming; some require polite, considerate exchanges. Choose the groups where you feel comfortable.
- If you frequent chat rooms, keep in mind that it's possible to develop very strong relationships with people online, relationships that are different in quality and character from anything you've experienced offline. The anonymity of the Net lets you judge and be judged on factors other than race, age, sex, disability and so on. That can be very intoxicating. Beware this intoxication.
- The anonymity of the Net also encourages deception. People online frequently lie about their identity (around 60% according to one recent poll). This goes way beyond giving a false name to go with an online ID. The Net is also littered with people who have spent a very long time getting to know someone "intimately" online only to find they've been misled. There are three huge things missing from online relationships: physical presence, social context, and everyday experience. The person you get to know online is not the complete picture: remember this before offering your personal details, your money, your heart, or your life.
- Turn the computer off. Look around and notice who and what you have in your life offline.